3 Randoms :-)

Page 1
I'm not sure this counts......but I think I might have "felt up" Nancy's mom a few days ago. I know....it makes my head hurt thinking about it. It all started when Nancy and I made our weekly trek to Southlake to see her parents at their retirement home. The plan was to get the old folks and take them out for a bite to eat. Her dad, Phil is always ready for a run on the town but Ethel usually needs some maintenance so off too the bedroom she goes. Nancy, Phil & I are having a nice visit (I have my back to the bedroom door) when Ethel returns and stands just a little behind me out of my line of site. She took my hand like she usually does when we go somewhere, I looked at Nancy in time to see her smile, then it happened.....................................Ethel reached in to her blouse, took her boob out and put it in my hand...........................That seems a little wrong doesn't it? Having an 86 year old woman's boob in my hand. When I looked over only to find out it was her prosthetic boob I didn't know if I should be horrified or relieved.

Page 2
Doctors & Nurses
Years ago I knew somebody who wanted to be a Medical Assistant. That's a respectable profession. The story went like this. On the very first day of class the teacher said they would all learn to provide injections to patients. The way this is done is as follows.

1. The teacher volunteers one student and performs an injection on said student.
(none of that practicing on a tomato crap like you see on TV)

2. You may return to your seat now.

3. Ok, now that you have seen it done on my first volunteer I will divide
the class in half. The first half will be the volunteers and the second half will provide the injections. After you have successfully performed the injection you will reverse roles and become the said volunteer.

4. Repeat.

5. Repeat again.

6. Repeat the repeat.

So now here's is the question that begs to be answered as I have a doctors appointment coming up soon.
For the doctors and nurses I previously mentioned,
"when prostate exam day rolls around in the class room, just how does that play out?"

*******PLEASE GOD, I DON'T WANT TO VOLUNTEER

Page 3
Nancy and I went to Glenrose on the scooter last night to eat dinner at restaurant by the river. Its in a house built back in the late 1800's. Great dinner. Beautiful evening. Highway 67 straight home. Eeeeeeeeasy. Were rolling along kinda stretching the scooters legs if you will and I see the prettiest blues and the brightest red lights in my mirrors. poop. Well ossifer friendly wanted to chat about where I was going and why. Why do they always ask that? It never seems to change the general outcome of the situation. Apparently he had been trying to visit with me for a while because after we got to talking another of his buddies showed up. He then informed me that he had radioed 3 other of his friends to come to the gig if they could catch me. So were standing there on the side of the road and the strangest thing happened to Nancy. She had some sort of reaction to the flashing lights and her nose started to itch. I didn't want to alarm her but my first thought was that they figured they had caught a coked up couple running in from meheko. Look away baby. DON'T let em see you scratch. Tic Toc Tic Toc. Well as it turns out he ended up giving me an invitation to some guy named J. McBrooms party. Judge McBroom, yeah thats it. So I took my invitation and God as my witness said "I need you boys to count to 10 when I leave" Oh yeah and the ticket? Lets just say I did the 18 miles from Glenrose to Cleburne in 12 minutes. You do the math.