Doggie maintenance

Having 3 dogs can be a wondrous experience........along with the required periodic maintenance. Today was the day for squeezing poo out of their anal glands. You really have to love your pet to perform this task. Apparently Nancy loves them more than I do. I held the leash (as any good husband would) while she managed the business end of the operation. As best as I can remember the conversation went as follows....Nancy said "Her glands seem to be really stopped up, they are really hard!!!!" So I said "squeeze harder, something will give!!!! About 2 seconds later Nancy jerked backwards while simutanously uttering a string of profanities that would make a salior faint. When she stood up she looked like she had been at a chocolate eating contest at the Hershy plant. Poor girl. I told you not to stand there.

I'm just sayin........

May be we do have need for a little Islamic style justice in our judicial system. Did anybody read the storey about the West Virginia grandmother who got a 35 year sentence?? She got mad at her son-in-law for getting her daughter pregnant over 2 years ago. The entire family was at the mall for a family outing and she decided this was her opportunity to "repay" her son-in-law sooooo she picked up her 2 year old grand daughter and threw her off a 6th floor balcony. Dead. That will teach him.
Dear God, please find someone in prison to beat that grandmothers face into a wall before breakfast, lunch & dinner each day and every day and extra on holidays for the next 35 years. Thank you, Amen

I'm just sayin..............

Now that's Justice

Sara McKinley is my new hero!!!! She lives in Oklahoma and has not had a easy go at life. She lost her husband to cancer on christmas day leaving her with a 3 month old baby. Last night 2 men tried to break into her home and do.....whatever, the whatever is'nt important. Sara selected her course of action which I would consider to be appropriate. She elected to protect her baby instead of being a statistic as the tree huggin liberal fag lovin leftist Islam preachin lalalalala I'm a car bomb amerikans would have her be. A couple of shotgun shells later and there is a dead motherfu..er layin on her floor and another runnin scared shitless!!!!! God bless the right wing American!!!! Watch out for those gun bashin california maine lovin residents that say "guns are from the devil" and nobody should have them and that "why cant we just all get along bullshit" Bad people do BAD things and as a person and a American you have the God given right to FUCK them up!!!! I swear on all that all that is good, Holy & pure if I read one more storey about so n so's 10 year old kid being raped and murdered with out a fight I'll throw up. I really really really hope and pray that the author's of the 2nd amendment have a front row seat in Heaven!!! They must have been very insightful!!! Kudo's to Sara Mckinley. When that dead MF's family sues her for violating his civil rights I promise I'll be first in line to donate to her defense fund!!!! I maintain that by violating a persons civil rights you forfeit ALL your civil rights.

Reverse Discrimination

I quoted a HVAC job last night at 8pm--sharp as that was when my prospect asked me to arrive. Pam and her husband listened intently as I made my proposal. Nancy and I really had our "A" game on. I was even considering buying my own proposal....it was that good. Well 20 minutes had elapsed so I dropped the big one and asked him for $15,619.37 At this point he said "thanks for coming by but we have already made our decision. Were gonna go Geo-Thermal!!
Huh?? What??? Your kidding right?? I said GT has to be THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for an air conditioner. His response was very kind and professional so I don't fault him at all but in a nut this is what he said......or at least this is what I heard. "You were out of the hunt before you parked your truck, Since you were so kind to pay your taxes promptly and in full the Obama administration in all of its glory and wisdom is gonna give me TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS of your tax money for me to give to your competitor the geo thermal guy. This way I get to purchase my air conditioner for not only below market cost but actually less than what it cost to manufacture it.
Isn't AmeriKa great!!!!
Welcome to the USSA, You are now semi-free to roam about the country....FOR A FEE!!!!!

Pot calling the Kettle BLACK

My blessed Nancy in all her Saint-hood was on her way to Wal-Mart to pick up my blood pressure meds when in a moment of weakness I volunteered to go in with her. I guess I felt a little guilty about sending her in alone. Anyway, nobody can find my Rx. We are doing our designated part by standing in line preventing any other customers from receiving their Rx's while the clerk begins to implode in front of a now very interested and anxious crowd. She appeared to be warming up in the Christmas spirit as she was approaching critical mass at an excessively high rate of speed. Add in the 4 year old in the back of the grocery section screaming so loudly we can still hear him up front in the pharmacy and we have everything we need for a highly charged exchange. Breathe in......Breathe out......ouuussaaaaaaa Breathe in....... Breathe out...... Well it turns out that the pharmacy tech can neither read or write and had butchered my last name between copying it from my Rx to the label on the bottle. It was at this point the clerk leaned over the counter and uttered these words "She screws up Rx's all the time, You just cant fix stupid"
Dear God, help me. If she could of only heard all the voices screaming in my head.
Once again Wal-Mart never ceases to disappoint me.

Irony

I was assembling a fire for my bbq pit using the local "green sheet" for starter. The green sheet is one of those free papers you find in the front of a convenience store advertising garage sale junk and "wholesale" phone service for the ethnically challenged. Phone ads typically start out "No Credit Check, No Social Security Number Required, Habla Espanol!!!!" So while I am wadding up paper for the fire a ad catches my eye. In all of its glory it read as follows, For Sale... Tiger Woods Signature Series golf clubs with signature engraved....$250.00 .............................my, my, my, how the mighty have fallen.

Wonder Dog!!!!

Shiner to the rescue. Nancy and I were feeding the horses and just letting the last one go I muttered in the direction of the horse "we don't even like you anyway" I didn't really mean it but this mare tends to be "contrary" and sometimes she just wears me out. Anyway the heeler thought I was serious and away he went. Barking like a crazed alpaca in the middle of the night, tapping on my windows in the dark, trying to claw my door knob with their hooves in a never ending attempt to get in ......brrrr............uuhhhhh uuhhhhhhh never mind that today but we can revisit this some other time., back to Wonder Dog, he ran her half way across the pasture to get her away from his dad. All Hail WD.
Our dog Martha is a reprobate congenital escape artist so I tied a 10' rope to her collar with a 2lb rubber "Kong" at the end of it for her to drag around. Amazing results, I always know where she's at. Anyway, us in the dogs were going inside and Martha's Kong got stuck and so did she. I looked at Nancy and asked who was gonna help. Right then Wonder Dog turned around, went outside, picked up Martha's Kong and carried it in for her. ALL HAIL WONDER DOG