Ultimate PC

In the UK, in a DISCO bar (if you can believe something like that still exist) a man who is a regular performer at the disco bar was recently arrested. For what horrific crime you ask? What could a man do at an age where you are still even interested in disco that could be so terrible? This guy had the audacity to sing....."They were Kung Foo fighting" Yup, he sang Kung Foo Fighting and two non-caucasians got there feelers hurt, called the pc police and had him arrested. The police were quoted as saying "the law is the law" so we arrested him on something similar to hate crimes. The nerve of this guy!!! What an insensitive bigot!!! I for one feel much safer now that this man is off the streets. I can't even imagine the carnage that would befall me if I were to hum.....something like Eric Claptons "I shot the Sheriff"

It was a moment of pure Genius!!!

The waiter arrived at our table with our drink order and with out missing a single beat I blurted out "My wife say's your name is Adrienne but I said she's wrong" He looked straight at Nancy and flatly said "My name is Rick" then turned around and walked off as if to say with his body language do I look like an freakin Adrienne?
Alrighty then, I know his name know. Nancy was sitting there with that "deer in the headlights" look wanting to know what the hell just happened and why she's always the one who ends up under the bus. Hmmmmmm Anyway I looked pretty smooth. More beer please and a margarita for the Mrs.

Curve Ball

I was wandering down memory lane yesterday. Rembering when I was given a beautiful almost new craftsman shop-vac. Sooooooo proud and happy to add this new tool to my arsenal of tools!! I tossed it it the back of my truck along with all the other items waiting to be processed into my shop. As the story goes all was good and the next morning was church and I was running late so I decided instead of going to the shop I would simply toss it in the truck when I got to church. Idiot proof plan. Well about 5 miles into my journey I gazed into my rear view mirror to find my prized shop-vac GONE!!!! Wind must have blown it out as it was resting on a "few" "unprocessed" items. I U-turned in the middle of the highway to retrace my steps, determined no one else would have my vac I traveled at a modest 85-90 mph in search of my beloved vac. Passing people at a rate that some would deem reckless I didnt care, it was MY NEW SHOP-VAC !!!! Turn after turn I searched the ditches on both sides of the road for my vac. All the way back to my very own driveway and no shop-vac. Disappointment over came me. I made up my mind, some theivin rat-bastard stole my shop-vac!!! Anybody with any sense of decency would just know that a man would come back in search of his shop-vac............then I saw it..........no, not my shop-vac but a small piece of extension cord caught between my tail gate and the bed rail of my truck. OMG. As I walked behind my truck I experienced a completely new level of disappointment. Behind my truck there lie my shop-vac having been helplessly dragged down the highway at 90 mph for 5 miles. I wondered what the many people were thinking as I screamed past them in my truck watching me drag the shit out of my shop-vac..........I think there is a moral to this story but just not sure what is. :-((